Friday, September 26, 2008

The Value of a Drink

Source - Email Forward

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your clothes .
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~Dave Howell


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Laughs on the Bus

Source - Email Forward

This is from an actual trial in the UK:

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When She noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing..................


She had him arrested. Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was:

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.

She sat under an advertisement, which read:

'Coming Soon : The Gold Dust Twins'.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read:

'William's Stick Did The Trick'.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read:

'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.'

The case was dismissed.........!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Dog Logic

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
- Anonymous

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
- Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney

Dogs love their friends & bite their enemies, quite unlike people.
- Anonymous

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
- Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise .
- Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3 a can. That's almost $21 in dog money.
- Joe Weinstein

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- Mark Twain

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
- Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
- Phil Pastoret

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Who owns Kashmir?

Source: Email Forward

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named. When Rishi Kashyap struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath.’ He took off his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and in support of Pakistan, he shouted, ‘What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren’t there then.’

The Indian representative smiled and said, ‘And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.’

Saturday, September 13, 2008

About Going to a Chinese Restaurant

Ok this is again about the way Indians eat Chinese. Earlier I discovered how one should avoid Chinese at non-Chinese type restaurants. Now I discovered the ordering pattern in a Chinese restaurant.

First thing, that people order in the name of starters is Manchurian whether in veg. or non-veg. There could be thousand different food itme on the menu but people will invariably ask this fodder only. I mean why cant you have a new dishes every time one goes to the restaurant. Indians are so very much against experimenting that they will never order anything else but Manchurian.

The second most important thing people order is the Soup. Nothing wrong here yet; but as soon as they receive soup on their table first thing they do is search for the black pepper, salt, tomato ketchup, pepper, vinegar and soya sauce. Then they would pour everything into their bowls without even tasting how the original soup tasted like. Indians are fond of rituals. They would follow them without even knowing why they are required to do them.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Inflation in India - Analyzing Its Causes

Inflation is all over the news, touching 8.1%, highest in 45 months. Let me analyze the reasons as if I were Sherlock Holmes! In layman’s terms I would say that inflation is high because the demand is exceeding the supply. Either the demand is more than the supply or supply is less than the demand.

First let’s think about the demand side. To reason the causes first let us see what happened in the last one year. 2007-08 the GDP growth rate was at 9%, which is revised from provisional number of 8.7%. Not going into details we may conclude that we as a country prospered quite well. If I say we as a country prospered, I would say people had more money to spend.

Various central government plans like the national minimum wages guarantee program and other constructive work in the rural India has also meant money in the hands of the poor. I am not saying it is bad or they should not have done that but, yes it causes inflation.

Now let us remember what happened in the Budget 2008. Our Finance Minister did a poll gimmick and waived loans up to Rs. 60K crore. To think of the after effects, the farmers who would have saved money to pay back the loans are free to use the money as they wish. Where would that money go oh! Finance Minister? It is used up to buy things. Demand increases.

To look at the supply side, we sure did not have very good monsoons in last few years. Further more and more farmers are cultivating cash crops to make money (and if that goes naught they kill themselves). This means we have less food to eat isn’t it?

Crude is on a mountain climbing expedition and petroleum products prices are at all time highs all most every day. Though the government is cushioning the domestic prices the world market prices are not controlled. This results in higher transportation cost at the least and the imports become expensive.

On the topic of petroleum prices, we all know that government is giving huge subsidies on the petroleum products. How does that help any one? At the end of the day some one has to pay for the subsidy; and to think of it who else but the “Aam Admi”. Government will some way or other will have to raise the money and probably will impose new taxes direct and indirect. So the discount I now get on the petrol and cooking gas, I will pay back as taxes. What actually causes discomfort is the fact that later when they will impose taxes, it affects the poor by increasing the prices of the manufactured goods.

I would have rather like to see the money given as subsidies on petroleum products invested in infrastructure and making the public transport more useable by public. Further the subsidies are working towards subsidizing pollution.

Congress Government came to power by singing the “Aam Admi” slogan. It has been doing vote bank politics all the time, rather than steering the nation on a constructive path. If there are things which are not in ones control one should let it happen rather than causing more problems trying to control them.


Disclaimer: I am not Sherlock Holmes and I did not do well in Economics in my graduation ;).

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Sony DAV-DZ777 My New Home Theater



Long time no see, yes its literally after the first post i guess. Basically, I'm not into blogging (but you will find that I'm not into anything else too...). Any ways let me come to the point, On the last Saturday i.e. 3rd May, 2008 i got myself an Sony DAV-DZ777 home theater system and that costed me a bomb, I would say almost a months salary. But the beauty of it was I got it since i didnt like the sound output from the LG tv that i was watching. My favourite past time is wathcing movies, download them from net and write into a DVD and watch it on the 29'' TV. But I feel that the LG TV has got a very good picture quality but not the audio. Owing to the poor audio quality I had to download subtitiles for the movies and then watch them on TV. It was like looking at the news for "hearing-impaired". So me and my Bro (Gomzy) decided to buy a home theater (I know that was a bad idea but you know what, an idle brain is a devil's workshop and the gadget devil never sleeps) so we went to the near by Sony showroom.


There are always two sides of a coin, in the same way i would say there are always two sides of buying "before buying" and "after buying" and this goes like this: you always make up your mind to buy something and also the budget is made up to buy this thing happens before you got to any shop and then after going there you end up buying something which is very much different than the one which is thought and many a time much more expensive thing (this is common in case of gadgets) so our "before buying product was something not as expensive as the one that i got but it had no "towers" then we saw another one that had only two back towers but no front towers and finally i said lets buy something with towers and we ended up buying this DAV-DZ777.


Let me tell you one thing guys Sony might be expensive but I would say it is every paisa worth buying. The sound is awesome (comparing to the peer products of this range) and i would say who ever listens will fall in love with this thing like me.